Trump on FLO

Det er tøffe tider. Grasrotengasjement, tillitsvalgte som engasjerer seg veldig rundt om i hele landet, en synlig Allmennlegeforening og Legeforening. Det er et bredt ønske i kollegiet om å få til endringer som kan redde fastlegeordningen. Så kommer det til brudd i normaltariff-forhandlingene, og man føler på en slags håpløshet og tristhet. En følelse som for meg mest skyldes at jeg ikke helt ser at de som styrer og steller klarer å forstå hva problemet faktisk er.

Det er nå enda bra at vi bor i Norge. For hva om taleskriveren til Donald Trump skulle skrive en tale for en norsk helsepolitiker. Hvordan ville den bli? Hvordan ville den talen se ut? Dette tankeeksperimentet løser selvfølgelig ingenting. Det er heller ikke tanker som nødvendigvis har rot i virkeligheten, men litt humor kan vel ikke skade.

“Fastlegeordnigen” is a very good institution. Big league, actually. Outstanding. All inhabitants have their own doctor who knows them over time and easier can help if problems arise. It is amazing. Now the GP’s believe that there is a “crisis”. They claim to “work too long hours” and have many “new tasks” that they did not have before. They believe it is “too expensive” to get established as a GP and that they do not have “particularly good social security rights”.

All of these things may be a little problematic. But the GP' claims are dishonest, dopey and dumb! It is fake news! Although the GPs' wining is completely pathetic – they really don’t have a clue! I have a solution for this alleged crisis. The best solution you can imagine, actually. It is unbelievably clever. Ask anyone. Nobody will be able to find a better solution in the whole world. It has not been seen before. Not ever! The solution I call - and you will simply love the name! I adore it: "Primary Health Team"!

Everyone is just going to just love it. This will solve almost all problems that the GP’s believes they have. I'm introducing this now, as soon as possible. Why wait? You would be a moron to wait. This will be amazing. A major improvement. No more to say about that matter. Make fastlegeordningen great again!

In any case, this is an incredibly superior strategy compared to the ridiculous proposals coming from the GP’s themselves. Their solution is absolutely unthinkable. It is sad and stupid. How would a reduction in the number of patients on the GP’s list reduce the workload? You tell me. It is dishonest to even propose such a thing! They are completely out of control! I have heard some dumb suggestions. Maybe more than anybody, and this is perhaps the dumbest! The GPs also have several other equally completely goofy thoughts on what could alleviate this “crisis”. They are so horrible that I do not even bother to talk any more about them. That would be a substantial waist of my time. Just sad, sad, sad.

There is absolutely no way that there will be any more talk about change following the introduction of my truly elegant Primary Health Team-solution. Why would there be? This idea is so sophisticated and powerful, and I honestly think this is one of the best ideas I have ever had. And I have had a lot of absolutely stunning ideas. More ideas than anybody else that I know, and I know a lot of people with ideas. Staggering! Substantial! I am incredibly successful in all that I do. But if the out of control GPs still find something they judge less than perfect, I've already thought about that as well. Of course I have! My brain operates on a completely different level than most. I am always several steps ahead of any other person in any discussion. That's why I never lose and outwit anyone that tries to pick a fight with me.

So what I am planning, in fact it has already begun – I don’t waste time - is an investigation of the how the GPs really are doing. This powerful and mind-boggling work will culminate into an amazingly thorough review that will be ready already in 2020. In it, I will be eager to tell the unvarnished truth about others’ flaws and hail my own amazing excellence. You will not be able to understand how it is even possible to be so thorough and elegant in such a short time – 2020 is just around the corner! When you read the review I think – and I usually get it right – that you all clearly will see that everything is just great. Totally great!

All citizens will be truly happy and every doctor would want to become a GP. And hospitals will be afraid to lose their doctors, but of course I have an outstanding solution to this as well. This is going to be so good. Perfect. All countries in Europe, all countries in the world, in the universe will look to Norway and try to mimic the outstanding health care system that I have established here. I am convinced of that and I am not easily convinced! That's how it's going to be, so just relax! It is a good, good thing that you have me!